What Kind of Cigar Smoker Are You? I will start with me….
I am a consummate people watcher. One of my favorite pastimes at the cigar lounge is to observe other smokers as they converse, pure a glass of wine, light a cigar, or even walk across the room (stop acting like I’m weird, we all like to people watch). I observe how they cut or punch their cigar, if they have a nice lighter or not, if they prefer a cedar spill, and if they use a leather case or a zip lock bag. But that is not enough to truly form any idea of who they are--oh no. I need more empirical data. Hmmmm…..those shoes are nice, but his teeth are dirty and there are hairs protruding from his ears. What does this mean? Oh is that a flavored cigar? Can I kill this guy please. Who is that asshole yelling over the phone and no you cannot have a glass of my Scotch. What an interesting bunch of people with so much diversity! Upper and middle class, all ethnicities, all ages, demographics, psychographics, and all rungs of the economic ladder. With all this noise for the senses to absorb one has to know where they stand. What kind of cigar lounger am I?
I’m the well dressed dashing gentleman in a cigar shirt (usually wearing a hat of some sort), fresh off reading the newest issue of the Economist with the wit and grit of an urban erudite warrior, which I am in the flesh. I’m shy at times but mostly I am fine being the center of attention which is a flaw that I have not been able to resolve so I have decided to embrace it in an attempt to tame it. I’m a sucker for the old school conservative aspects of cigar smoking. The respect of the lady or gentleman next to me, carrying myself to the standard required by a fellow BOTL, and never infringing on the space and privacy of others. I am conservative on some issues (the economy) and liberal on others (environment) and I abhor the impulse to take positions based on political affiliation. Furthermore, I am a die hard intellectual. I love sciencey stuff, I am enamored by cosmology (fuck your zodiac sign), history, technology, and art and I love to argue about it. In fact I just bought a book on the elements and how they were produced within stars and distributed across the vastness of space (top that you mangy troglodyte).
There is little value added by this modern facebook, reality TV, nano second attention span mindset but look at how far we have come as a species! There is a potential cure for AIDS and cancer on the horizon, clean energy is actually being discussed by the enlightened countries (which happen to be the biggest carbon consumers), and the GDP is actually showing growth to the tune of 1.5% at the time of this writing (12/15). But with such progress one cannot deny how far we have to go (a really long way). Hell, we are fresh off a nuclear arms treaty with the number one sponsor of terrorism, ISIS is gaining power and influence(mostly influence), and their seems to be a slight fall back in race relations in America but we cannot deny that our society has made concrete progress.
I also love to argue in the lounge but only with a worthy opponent for there is no fun in smashing ants with a sledgehammer but I will admit that after a few drinks I love to pulverise an opponent that has stepped into the fray unprepared. It's not so much that I believe I am smarter or superior but I truly think that people allow their socialization shroud their thinking and many think that a muscular black male is inherently mindless. Too many of us have a tendency to allow “groupthink” to pass for real reason, we allow bumper sticker slogans to pass for a well thought out opinion, and we are too quick to mistake a story for a study. My advice, subscribe to the Economist and read it cover to cover, read all of Jared Diamond’s books, and I am sure you can hold your own in a conversation with any real or would-be informed person.
I also like to dress the part in a cigar lounge (loafers over sneakers, button downs over t-shirts). I’ve seen cigar smokers coming into the lounge in dirty sweatpants, worn-out t-shirts, and three day stubble and while it never bothers me I will admit that it's not my cup of tea (I don’t gravitate to their conversation and their words seem duller). I never want to look as if I’ve given up so I run, workout, and do my best to eat right and while I know that health is at the forefront I also do it to look good and feel good (so shallow I am). I think baseball is the best sport on the planet, Ferragamo makes the best shoes, Serena Williams (with the exception of my wife) is one of the sexist women to walk the Earth, I hate Empire unless its Boardwalk Empire, late eighties and nineties hip hop was the best it will ever get, I hate to see pants sagging, dirty fingernails, and I think Fox news is as informative as People magazine (and if you don’t know that you are a certified idiot), MSNBC is in the tank, reality TV sucks donkey balls, punctuation is passé and Cubans do not make the best cigars.
What kind of cigar smoker are you?
We do it all for the love of the leaf the grape and the peat. "BillieBLVD"